There Are No Bad Jobs (Only Bad Politicians)

While contemplating reforms to Canada’s Employment Insurance plan, finance minister Jim Flaherty — who makes $235,000 a year — remarked this week that “There is no bad job. The only bad job is not having a job.”

I beg to differ. Here’s three positions I would say no to:

Minister Bev Oda, Professional Orange Juice Sipper

1. Orange Juice Connoisseur: Sorry Bev Oda, but if I wanted to have millions of people mock, deride and resent me for my extravagance, I would sooner be a Kardashian or the star of a Real Housewives franchise (then at least I would have honestly earned the privilege).

Tony Clement. Photo by Adrian Wyld for the CBC

2. Spell Checker: Who cares if you know how to spell words like tonite or jack ass? Especially when you’re a cabinet minister like Tony Clement, in which case you’re too busy telling off 15-year-olds and building roads to nowhere.

Photo by Chris Wattie for Reuters

3. Government Number Cruncher: Because it would be pretty stressful trying to make $10 billion and $25 billion be the same thing. Defense Minister Peter MacKay has done a great job trying though. And, fortunately for him, he can always rely on his killer good looks if poor math skills ever cost him his job.

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